Turkish Delight.

I had written this on June 25, 2004:

The End. Don't fret, when you feel your world is going to be coming to an end just because someone or something isn't going the way you want it to be. Things always happen for a reason. It is not the end. Pain is only temporary. Once the wound is healed, you get your ass right back up again and start out with a new beginning.

It was an advice that I had written, but wasn't able to take it into my own use, until now. Really when you’re in love...you are insanely blinded and the only way to see the reality is to take off those rose colored glasses and focus on what is really in front of yourself. At one point, I thought because I felt deep down inside that he was going to be the one, I had to hold on tight - even if it was wrong. In order to fulfill what I had dreamed I was going to fight till the end. Wrong. I finally learned to let go during the stage that we all go through - the sweat pants-wearing-chocalate-eating-sad-sappy-love-songs-cry-your-eyes-out mode. Yes that phase of insanity until you realize it's not the end. He wasn't for me and if I held on to him, I was not going to be happy. Forced, maybe but the truth is, did I really want to ride this rollercoaster all over again? When I knew what the end outcome would be yet again. No, Thank You. J.D. Salinger has cleverly put it in Catcher in the Rye: And so it goes....Life goes on. (I cut that umbilical chord, it was about time. I was sick of his uncertainty.)

Currently, I am with someone who knows what they want. And I am on cloud 9. I am so happy that she has come into my life. Who is she you might ask? She's one beautiful, Turkish girl who is sexy on the outside and lovely on the inside as well. She claims I am her destiny and with my instinct in tact, I feel the same. We are at distance right now that I live in Chicago and she lives in Turkey, but hopefully her visa and passport will be ready by this summer! I need to find us a place to live soon. I talk to her almost everyday. That is more than I had ever did with my boyfriends. It's so different, in a good way. I tend to keep it this way for a very long long time.