Withdrawls....

Time doesn't heal pain, it just makes it gut-wrenching worse. Everyday I want to pick up the phone and give you a call, but I know you wouldn't want me to. I'm trying extra hard not to disrespect you. I really thought that this time you would stick. I was hoping for the best, though I knew what would happen next would be for the worst. Not to know you -your a ghost that haunts me non-stop. I guess my phone is bad luck for me. My last boyfriend, I switched from some good service to sprint (suck service) and as the phone sucked so did my relationship. While I waited ever so patiently for your phone call to hear what the verdict was to be, I switched to Cingular. I thought this way we could actually communicate better since we where on the same service. Then again, we had the same service...but we were not on the same page. Cingular supposedly good, gone bad. Cingular was right, I was to be singlar.

1 Month Anniversary

Hey Love it's been a month and 1 day since I have last saw you. I tried sleeping early today...but an hour later I'm laying awake in bed thinking of you. I really miss you and I can't see my life living without you. You are everything to me and when you slipped away, my motivation has lessened. I don't know what to do and I don't go anywhere special. I'm going crazy and now I know how it feels to fill in your shoes. When your days are long and you haven't a person to talk to you just feel all alone. I'm such a romantic person and always feel there is a destiny for love. I really lost that butterfly sensation inside. I used to watch all the romantic comedies and always have this tingly feeling because I was already with Mr. Right/ Prince Charming. I love those types of movies. Now I've "lost that loving feeling." I'm a libra - a hopless romantic and now I don't know anything anymore. I wish you where here and not with another. I wish I could call you and talk to you. I wish I knew what was on your mind. I wish this whole month of not doing much was spent laughing and loving you. All I have of you is your memory, your pictures and an image of you in my dreams. I wake up and you disappear. I miss you and I love you so much. I wish I knew if you are happy now. The only thing I don't want to know is that I have been replaced.

Make It Real

Tonight it's been a year

we met each other here

Here I am all alone

as thoughts of you go on

Hear me cryin' out to you

you said, "Never, never would I leave"

Here's a tear from me to you

and maybe it will make you hear me

I loved you

You didn't feel the same

Though we're apart

You're in my heart

Give me one more chance to

Make it real

In a dream you are here

You smile and hold me near

And in my heart

I'll pretend

that you are here again

Hear me cryin' out to you

You said, "Never, never would I leave"

Here's a tear from me to you

and maybe it will make you hear me

Give me one more chance to

Make it real

The One That Got Away

Don't think for a minute that because I haven't been writing about you that I have forgotten you. Lots of my thoughts happen mostly while i'm laying in bed in the dark. So many things that I contemplate but don't bother writing because all I would end up doing is having to think and write at the same time. I wish I knew how you are now. The 3rd of July I left my phone on the bed in my room. Somehow my cousin ended up dialing your number. I wonder if it rang on your end. If it did, you probably thought I was calling you and then hung up after a second. I promised I would respect your wishes for me not to call you unless something ever happened to me. I won't call you now, but I never said I won't later on. Promises are made to be broken.